Monster Movies

Remember that Green Day song “Wake Me Up When September Ends?” I feel this way about the month of October.

Growing up, I always opted out of the horror of Halloween and focused on the fun parts — eating candy, wearing pretty outfits that straddle the line of appropriateness. (That’s what Halloween is all about, right?)

Scary movies have always been a no-go for me, and yet, in the digital age, I can’t escape them. It used to be simple as turning the TV off whenever a creepy preview came on but those days are long gone. I’ll be scrolling through Tumblr, one minute there’s a nice steady feed of puppy pictures and BAM someone had to post an entire .gif set’s worth of the most terrifying shit ever. Just trying to watch a nice YouTube video of hamsters eating burritos, can’t get to the cuteness until I’m forced against my will to sit through a horror movie preview.

I can’t shut myself off from the world until I have to get dolled up in some half assed sexy cat costume just so I can possibly get free drinks at a bar. I’m a grown ass woman who needs to face her fears, and most importantly not violently shut her laptop down whenever a horror movie ad appears. Therefore, I’ve challenged myself to watch a number of horror movies throughout the month of October.

It’s not like I’ve never seen a horror movie and I have successfully sat through a few of them. I’ve seen a small fraction of what’s out there, but perhaps you’ll be surprised at how many classics and cult favorites I haven’t seen. I have my friends to thank for what I’ve seen so far, it’s a miracle they’re not deaf.  To be honest, I’m pretty calm during the whole experience. I don’t think I’ve ever cried, an occasional scream is inevitable, and my apologies to any date who’s had to endure a painful hand squeeze.

Perhaps it’s my neurotic nature but my fear of horror movies is more of a mind game. I’ll sit there nice and calm, look away a few times, but it’s everything afterwards that gets to me. I’ll be a total paranoid android and the movie will just stay with me, especially if it’s realistic.

Here’s a definitive ranking of things that freak me out. Judge me all you want, if you already haven’t:

Vampire bloody lips desire

 

Monsters - I’m not even sure if this counts as a category, that’s how clueless I am to this entire genre. I don’t know, monsters seem a bit too ridiculous for me. Like I feel disturbed, but they’re also on the same level of unicorns in terms of existence, so then I’m all good. Then again, I think aliens get lumped into this category and I’m not going to completely rule them out.

 

Creepy set of bloody zombie hands, studio shot over gray backgro

Zombies - Although a zombie apocalypse is possibly one of the most realistic scenarios, I think binge watching every episode of The Walking Dead this past summer just kind of desensitized me toward them. Sign me up for more zombie killing classes please.

 

one causasian man serial killer with mask portrait in silhouette

Serial Killers - Obviously (and unfortunately) this is a thing that exists in the real world. However, movie serial killers have such a strange range. Like if Freddy Kreuger approached me I’d scream at first but then ask him where he likes to shop for sweaters. But would I ever call up Hannibal Lector to come meet up at Starbucks for Pumpkin Spiced Lattes? Absolutely not.

 

Scary doll face with clipping path

Ghosts/demons/etc.. - Basically if you can’t shoot, stab, or call the cops on it, you’re probably fucked. That’s how I see it at least. But let’s break this down a bit further: Possessed children - noooooope. Haunted dolls - more noooooope. Angry vengeful spirits - I didn’t even do anything to you, can you not?

I’ve decided to watch a whole range of horror movies covering what I’m afraid of, and perhaps what I didn’t know I was completely terrified of. Every week, I’ll watch a couple and then of course give a review based on all of my scaredy cat feels and hopefully some triumphs. Halloween hilarity and terror ensues.

 

 

CelinaCelina Bonifacio (@celinabonifacio) is a staff writer for The High Screen and a graduate from Buffalo State with a B.A. in public communications and writing. Pizza and not wearing sweatpants in public are just a few of the things she’s passionate about. Celina currently resides in Queens, N.Y. where you’ll probably find her sitting alone at a cafe sipping a caramel macchiato.